Child of the King

She marched out the door with a smile on her face,
A polka dot dress, socks edged in lace.
"We're out, Mom!" she says, not even a trace
Of sadness to temper the lack of embrace.

"Come back here and hug me!" I say
A huff and a sigh at doing things my way.
"Okay. Have a great day!"
"I love you, Mom!"
And they drive away.

I close the door and survey the mess.
Everywhere, trappings of our beautiful princess:
A pile of beads that sparkles in the sunlight
Her favorite tiara because it fits her just right.

High heels and crinoline,
Crushed velvet and satin
A princess wand tinkles under the chair I just sat in.

Up to her room to make up her bed,
A blinking light escapes her shoe on the stair tread.
Clean out the castle, make everything shine
Only the best will do for this princess of mine.

Waiting in the carpool line now
Wondering how this day has turned out
Oh! There she is! She flits to the car and tells me all about
Her "little-big" nap at rest time today
Because she was "so tired" from getting to play.

"Now. Tell me the story of Adam and Eve.
Why were they naked? Why did they believe him,
that serpent that told them the fruit was good for them?
I know what Serpent means!"
"You do? What's that?"
"It means SATAN and we don't want to trust him!"
"So true, " I say, "In Whom do we trust?"
"In God. And in Jesus. We must learn to obey Him...
But when I'm bigger I'm not gonna obey you anymore,
I'm just gonna do what I want."

"Huh." Is all I can think to respond... is she baiting me?
"Maybe you'll want to obey when you are bigger."
"I don't think so."
Well, at least she's honest right?

I love her spirit, all brown sugar and vinegar
Thinking and testing to see what it gets her
And still in her heart the compulsion to love
The Jesus she so often thinks and hears of.

Beautiful inside, gorgeous without...

She,a beloved daughter of the King
IS a Princess, no doubt.

Triglycerides

Well! You little tattle-tale.
Humph. Sneaking up on me like that.
Afterall, it's been two years of pregnancy,
Two years of nursing...
You could have warned a body you were coming!

Now you're always niggling at the back of my mind
Not to eat this, not to eat that
No fun, you-
Always telling me what to do!

Well, you'll see, I have a plan
You won't be 'round long, my friend
I've got a plan and I'm sticking to it!

You may not think that I can do it
But since I HATE being bossed around
You'll see that I can stand my ground.

Won't be long now,
Adios, suckas!

Untitled... for lack of letters forming

This that I can hear, it swells
It overwhelms, it surrounds, penetrates, shakes
It moves, caresses, turns, kisses, holds
It brushes, whispers, yells, fights, forgets
It often burns and stirs and then it quits
but not the soul- no, the soul remembers
it remains there, in the smoldering embers
Of melodies that were but are no more
Yet somehow still remain, the sweet refrain
That lifts the edge of gloom or pulls it closer
While he who writes those words is none the wiser
To his words which trespass on sacred ground
And where can I hide from this haunting?
Who will put this ghost to rest?
It's pursuit is relentless, under the skin, in the vein
Now in bone and then in marrow
Shortly will I find myself at the end of myself
With this that wraps its cords around my mind
And sings a soft and sickly lullaby
Of what could be if things were not so
If I were not so...
Or perhaps if they were more?
No, indeed it always ends in self or selflessness
Or the end of this
... or that, where am I?
Have they found me?
Will they tell me when they do?
Is there a word for this thing that sneaks
And steals and changes?
Is there a word for this longing other than selfishness
and vain conceit?
Are there any choices yet left to make?
Surely there was so much that we never saw
Surely there was something left undone
That brought us here, to now, to this
How can one un-be what one has become?
The unlearning seems so impossible
I feel gripped in the maddening crush of
A wealth of information laid bare
And where to hide from my mind? There is nowhere!
There is nothingness and desolation
There is life and population
There are wars and droughts and famine
Lands of plenty, peace and swimming pools
And so I know my knowing still lacks and understanding
Of any thing that exists outside this thing.
This thing that touches, changes, moves, stirs, removes..
Causes a longing for something.
No, the longing was already there and there too long
for some get so suspicious of that look on my face
or in my eye, that light that somehow changes
Those words that wont' come out the right way,
Letters which refuse to form the sequence that would best explain
This
And so I'm left with
This