Wednesday, May 17, 2006

On Personal Truths, In Reflection

I care more about having a peaceful home than a clean one.

I have bitten off more than I can chew.

Two year olds know everything.

There are those I do not like.

There are those I could not love more.

I am not the center of the universe.

She is not the center of the universe.

You are not the center of the universe.

It's easy to fail at most things.

Where parents fail, God's grace prevails.

Saddness is more natural than happiness.

Easy is rarely right.

Hard is not always the only way.

Always and never are overused.

Mothers are overused.

Half of my brain is missing, the half that thinks and reasons clearly, as well as spells correctly and knows syntax.

I will not be the next American Idol.

Singing is one of my greatest passions and gifts.

Discernment is my "spiritual gift".

We have McPheever.

Amy has beautiful eyes.

Joel has a beautiful heart.

Our life is a work of art.

Clarity, energy and a pleasant disposition are sold in 150mg controlled release pills. I take them regularly.

Running is hard.

Running is awesome.

Running is accomplishing a goal.

Writing is therapeutic.

Reading is relaxing.

My Dad has diabetes.

My Father is with me always, even unto the ends of the earth.

My Dad is a man of integrity. He loves me dearly as I love him.

My mother is clothed in strength and dignity, the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

Tenth grade girls are fun to be with and hard to relate to.

Old Navy commercials drive me crazy.

Mac/PC commercials are best.

The Office is the best BEST.

I tell you: This is all my joy and my peace, nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Go Ahead

In shadow does it wander into the room
And tip it's hat to greet me with its gloom
Uninvited, yet invited still
Bringing with it dark and musty chill

So long, long gone you were
I know it to be true
Yet here you are to tell me that
I am not through with you
Of course you would come back to speak your peace to me
Now that I am standing on the edge of victory

Unreasoning, illogical and hateful voice of the past
Comes again to tell me this state of being will not last
And I, with doubled fists, set jaw, raised chin
Will not sit and let the chants begin
Shadowboxer surely I will be
Before you are able to get a grip on me

Not such an easy target this time, am I
I know your next move, I know you so well
You who love to chain my blood bought soul in temporal hell
No matter what you say, I will not listen
I fought so hard to break free from this prison
I won't go back
Stomp your feet, go ahead and yell
You can't have me because my mind is well

My arsenal is full, I am ready to attack
Not to sit and wait for you to tell me what I lack
Go ahead, if you must and whisper in my ear
You will not find unstable insanity here

More resilient now than ever, I've become
It's more than me at stake now
Besides, I've already won
Test and see the mettle that is forged
Around my mind which you for so long gored
Not so slick that you can not be beaten
Mercy is your very great enemy,
and He has visited me

No, don't wave your white flag this direction
Go ahead, invade, I will kill this infection

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Paper Faces

Okay, in the past week I've seen two movies with masked avengers. V for Vendetta and The Phantom of the Opera and I've come to the conclusion that I love the man behind the mask. At the end of both of these movies, I find myself in a deep and abiding depression and obsession of thoughts over said hero. What is it about the wearer of the mask that breaks my heart? I haven't been able to think about much else, only to pray for the souls of these movie characters as they portray the brokenness and heartache of a lost and dying world. I think that I love them so much because they are some of the few who recognize they are lost and dying and therefore take up a banner. Only it's the wrong banner and therefore at the End of Days they will still only have lost time and brokenness to show the Father.
The Dark Angels in both movies wore masks to hide thier grotesque disfigurations. Now, because it is hollywood and we are waiting on the big reveal we don't really believe they're that grotesque underneath, certainly not grotesque enough to push our beautiful heroine past the point of love. And really, the Phantom's disfigurement was in "his soul" as so eloquently sung by Christine Daae. But V never reveals his face for the masses to see. He sadly admits, in the midst of the promise of love through the worst of times that he cannot reveal what lies beneath. 'Why' I want to know? You're loved!! Totally and completely, we've watched you murder, lie, torture and yet we love you, we're rooting for you, we're on you're side!! But he cannot and so he does not.
And I realize, a week later, as I still can't stop thinking of their beautiful, tortured souls that this is the cry of God's heart. To love us through the worst of our disfigurations, the worst of our actions, to call us out of a life of darkness and futility, of totally wasted effort, and into a life of light and song and meaning, a life of purpose. An eternal life. I am so saddened by the fact that a lost person can give all, even his own life, for what he believes is a just cause when the object of his faith is no more alive than the wooden gods of the high places. We, humans, created beings, want to follow someone who has purpose and gives meaning to life, who takes calculated steps on a certain road of action, who is able to see past today and affect change for the future. Jesus, why don't we want to follow you? Give them eyes to see and ears to hear. Soften hearts to recieve the Word implanted and give us boldness to implant the Word.
I did not know that they were hungry for a Purpose, I did not see that their hearts desired Life.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Epic

Wisdom unto salvation
Beauty for ashes
Gladness of heart
Joy in persecution
Adoption as one first-born
Poverty of spirit
Strength for fear
Unconditional promises
Divine inspiration
Loss of life
Division of family
Gift of grace
Once and for all
Baptisim by fire
Double-edged sword
Light for the path
Beginning and End
Life giving
Purpose driven
Bloody
Peaceful
War-torn
Loving discipline
Righteous wrath
Continuous call
Specific creation
Truth unto freedom
Instruction for living
Answer to Questions
Wisdom unto salvation